How I’m Addressing My Own Depression

It wasn’t until I heard from other social entrepreneurs that I confronted what I’d been avoiding: my own depression. Here are five steps I’ve taken to get help.

I recently sent out a survey to check in on numerous female business leaders intended as a market research tool, but it turned out to be so much more. The responses I received showed me that, overwhelmingly, many people are struggling right now. Leaders are depressed. Businesses are suffering. People feel detached and lonely. We’re all craving community and connection more than ever, and there is a collective sense of grief and loss. 

In reading the responses, I saw myself reflected in so many of the answers. It was a profound moment for me to realize that I too have been really struggling, and I am not alone. 

Truthfully, this year has toppled me. After resigning from my role as CEO of Conscious Company media earlier this year, I knew that I was running on fumes — yet I convinced myself that I just needed to push through this year, that I was fine, that I just needed some time. But then September came around and I realized that things weren’t magically getting better. In fact, my choice to “push through” and not acknowledge how I was feeling effectively made things worse. So, I finally took the time to go to a psychologist, who diagnosed me as being clinically depressed. There it is — plain and simple. 

For those of you who are in the same boat, I see you. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. You’re not alone. You’re not alone if you’re feeling a constant sense of anxiety or an overwhelming sense of impending doom. You’re not alone if you’re struggling to return calls and texts, don’t have the energy to deal with your inbox, or are struggling to concentrate on your work. You’re not alone if you’re feeling uninspired. You’re not alone if the smallest disappointment reduces you to tears. You’re not alone if you’re using numbing devices. You’re not alone if you feel profoundly sad and angry. You’re just not alone. Period. 

I’ve been taking some steps lately that have been helpful, and I thought it worthwhile to share, in case this can be helpful for anyone else on this journey. 

Seek help.

Getting help might look different for you than it has for me, but I will tell you that finally taking the time to commit to getting professional help has been a lifeline for me. I’ve been talking about going to therapy for years now, but every time I would look into the process of working with someone, it just felt like too much effort. Adding one more to-do item to my list, trying to build trust with someone new right now, and finding the financial resources to pay for it all were all standing in the way of taking the first step in getting help that I desperately needed. But I finally did it.

Speaking with a professional psychologist on a consistent basis has been a game-changer. Again, professional help for you might look different than meeting with a psychiatrist or psychologist, but figure out what help would look like for you and do what you can to take that first step.

Replace toxic inputs with positive ones.

Depending on your news and social media consumption habits, most of us are bombarded with so much information and negativity that it’s hard to figure out which way is up. One thing I’ve realized as I’ve been dealing with my depression is that I have a choice about what I feed to my brain and my heart.

I realize I never feel better or energized after looking at Facebook, Twitter, or scanning the news. In fact, I usually feel depleted and overwhelmed at the scale of the problems in the world. Being informed is one thing, but peripherally scanning information through the lens of wanting to confirm your own biases is something else entirely.

And when I notice the pull to dive back into the toxicity, I consciously decide to do something else — more specifically, something that makes me feel good. I cook. I fill out voter registration reminder postcards. I listen to TED Talks. I go for a walk. I clean out my closets while listening to a nourishing podcast. I do anything I can to replace a toxic input with a positive one, and I have truly noticed a difference. 

Relentlessly pursue just getting a tiny bit better.

We often set our goals through a binary lens: I am either healthy or I am not. I am in shape or I am not. I am successful or I am not. We imagine a future world where we are perfect at all of the things, then beat ourselves up when we can’t achieve that very specific vision. We let the gap between where we are now and where we want to be deter us from even trying because it feels so large.

One concept that has been incredibly helpful for me during this time is constantly working on just getting a tiny bit better every day. This could mean celebrating something as small as folding the laundry, responding to five emails, cooking a nourishing meal, meditating for five minutes, or doing some squats while you’re listening to a work call. Whatever your goals are — don’t get overwhelmed if you don’t achieve them tomorrow. Just work every day on getting a teeny tiny bit better, and eventually you’ll get closer to where you want to be. Don’t let the fact that you’re not there yet detract you from doing anything at all. 

Define what “enough” is and shoot for that, rather than just growth for growth’s sake.

If you’re an entrepreneur like me, growth has been ingrained in your psyche. As we’re building businesses, the goal is always up and to the right. As I have been planning my business strategy through the end of the year, I took a different approach: I have defined what “enough” is for me in terms of the amount of income that will allow me to have my basic needs met, and that is my goal. Once I reach it, I am not going to add any more work to my plate for the next few months (and longer if I need to), specifically to give myself the space to heal. 

Tap into gratitude.

I know that when you’re down, sometimes being grateful doesn’t come easy, but I am here to tell you that tapping into gratitude as much as you can is helpful. Write down three things you’re grateful for before you start work. Express gratitude for your food when you sit down to a meal. Say a thank you every time you’re in the shower and experiencing the rush of clean, hot water. List what you're grateful for to your partner before you go to bed. Whatever it might be, find a small practice to build into every day that helps remind you of what you are truly grateful for.

I know firsthand how hard it is to get any momentum going in a positive direction when you’re overwhelmed and depressed. I know how isolating it can be to feel so down. It wasn’t until I heard from so many others how common this is right now and felt it was somewhat normalized that I was inspired to take my very first positive step toward healing myself. I’m hoping this article might help someone else out there know they’re not alone and inspire the same journey.